04 September, 2008

'Keep them good company in this world' | Sheikh Muhammad al-Hamad|

Allah says, regarding our parents: "If they strive to make you join in
worship with Me things of which you have no knowledge, obey them not;
but keep them good company in this world, and follow the way of those
who turn to Me. In the end, the return of you all is to Me, and I will
tell you the truth (and meaning) of all that you did." [Sûrah Luqmân:
15]

I was thinking about this verse, and realized just how eloquently and
gently it exhorts us to honor our parents. The command is a gentle one
– "keep them good company" – but what we must do to uphold this
command is great indeed.

Keeping our parents company means having to spend a lot of time with
them, and to do so over the long-term. This means staying with them
through thick and thin. Also, long-term companionship can grow
tedious, but the child must bear that tedium with honor and kindness.
When we realize what we are being asked to do in this verse, we
realize just how great a right our parents have over us. No one on
Earth has a greater right to our good company.

What does our "good company" mean? It means to be kind and attentive.
It means to consult them in all matters that concern them. It means to
show impeccable manners in speaking with them, and to never let our
speech betray any sense of weariness or irritation. It means to listen
attentively to what they have to say – and if they are repeating the
same thing for the umpteenth time, we must react to it with as much
interest and delight as if we had never heard it before in our lives.

It means to be generous with our wealth, especially if our parents are
in need. How many children these days are neglectful of this fact! How
many more deceive themselves by saying "my parents are not in need"
and therefore lose out on the blessings of spending on their parents.

How many self-centered children foist responsibility to take care of
their parents onto the shoulders of their sisters and brothers. In
many cases, each end every son and daughter think the same way, and as
a consequence, they collectively leave their parents in the lurch!

Our attitude should be to make sure we get our share of the blessings
in taking care of our parents, even if they are not in need of us. If
we have brothers and sisters, we should compete with them in doing so.
Allah says about our good deeds: "And it is in such things that those
who compete should vie with one another."

When our parents ask us to do something for them instead of asking our
brothers and sisters, we should not feel resentment. We should feel
happy about it. We should, after all, be trying to anticipate their
needs before our siblings do.

Part of our "good company" is to gently encourage our parents to do
good deeds and seek nearness to Allah. Believe it or not, some
children do the opposite, especially went their own vested interests
are at stake.

For instance, a child may be blessed with wealthy, pious parents.
Those parents may wish to engage in a philanthropic project or set us
pa public trust. The child tells his parents, feigning genuine
concern: "Be careful. Think about this, my beloved parents, you do not
want to put yourselves into financial difficulty." Of course, that
"well-meaning" child is only interested in making sure his inheritance
is larger when his parents die!

Part of our "good company" is to accompany them when they travel – or
better yet – to take them out on an excursion or vacation. Many of us
are all too willing to go out with our friends, but how often do we
think about taking our parents somewhere nice?

In brief, our "good company" means to make our parents as happy as
possible. Indeed, this verse is giving us a weighty command.

No comments: