27 October, 2013

The Hollywood Perception of Somali Men

The Hollywood Perception of Somali Men

by Kowthar A. Yabarow

Being an eighteen-year-old college student has made me a relatively active user of social media. With this being said, I've noticed a particular trend with Somali women continuously undermining the overall capabilities of Somali men. Of course, Somali men don't live up to our standards. That's because no man does. Unrealistic expectations defined by Hollywood romantic comedy films have clouded our idea of a "good catch."

As for me, I've come across more Somali women than men who bash their own kind. Every race has its bad apples but to generalize the entire Somali male population is an ignorant assumption. There's nothing wrong with reaching your full potential, but let's remember a four-year degree and a job doesn't change your cultural identity. Being successful and Somali can be one in the same. I hope you realize you're still Somali and by bashing your own people this indeed is considered as self-hate. You actually may suffer a problem deeper than what others assume.

As for interracial couples, I support that. In fact, I think they're beautiful. But when you turn to other races solely because you're ashamed of your own it comes down to the saying "if you don't love yourself, who will". And when you act upon the genuine and sincere beliefs that Somali men are inferior, I suggest you take a step back, sit down, and come to realize you just said that your father, brother, uncle or even grandfather are also inferior. Let's not forget that they too are Somali men.

And let's face it, our priorities need help. Our generation of Somalis are so fixed on finding the "right" person that they end up compromising the most important ingredient in a potential husband; his deen. I'm all for being specific. I mean, you are choosing someone you plan on spending the rest of your life with. But there's a huge difference between knowing what you want and ruling out the potential of an entire population. Yes, you may never come across the perfect "Somali man" but nobody is perfect. By viewing the world as a stage, you realize that although you've come across a couple bad performers it doesn't mean the show is over.

There are plenty of handsome, successful, righteous Somali men in the world. So before you make a hasty conclusion about Somali men, take a deeper look and come to realize that what you attract just might be a reflection of yourself. Above all else, put your trust in Allah because "Good women are for Good men" (24:16) so you will receive what you deserve.

So to Somali girls with this mindset, I most certainly believe you are beautiful and while you're confidence may seem attractive it could be mistaken for arrogance. Don't let a few negative personal experiences taint your perception about an entire Somali male population. The Somali men may think it but never say it. So there you have it. This is directed to a few, not all. No offense taken, only opinions shared.Kowthar A. Yabarow

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